Burt and Harland are the Crunch Brothers. They love their Tim's Potato Chips...

Poker Party
Poker Night
Agreed
It's The Crunch
The Bungled Burglary

Poker Party

Man: This must be the Crunch Brother's house.

Burt: Yeah, I'm Burt Crunch, and this is my brother, Harland.

Harland: How do. Come on. The poker games are suppose to start.

Man: Um, thanks. Nice of you to invite me.

(DIALOGUE OVERLAPS AS THEY SAY HELLO)

Guy #1 Hey Dwayne.

Guy #2 How ya doin'

Guy #3 What's Happenin'.

Burt: Dwayne, I hope you brought the chips.

Man: Uh yeah, I got'em right here. (SFX BAG RUSTLING)

Host: You brought THOSE CHIPS to play poker?

Man: (GREATLY EMBARRASSED)ooh, did I screw up? You meant real poker chips, not POTATO chips.

(SFX OF THE BUYS LAUGHING IN THE BACKGROUND)

Harland: That's o.k. How would j'a know? But if you were bringing snacks..what you should know is that no one around here eats plain old potato chips.

Guy #3: People around here eat TIM's chips!

Man: Tims...?

Burt: Yeah. We don't munch on average wimpy, scimpy potato chips. When you bite a TIM'S, you get REAL potato tasting, crunchy chips from the northwest.

Man: TIM's chips?

Harland: Yeah! Hey, we're not buyin' that "eat just one" - ain't that fun,

Guy #1: Under spiced - Bland as rice...

Guy #2: Paper thin - blowin' in the wind,

Guy #3: Out to lunch - not much crunch, Nambi Pambi - feed it to Bambi

Burt: Oily splatter, it doesn't matter, stacked in a tube, ya call that food? potato chips... Here have a TIM'S!

Man: (CRUNCHES)Wow! What a taste with all that crunch!

Harland: Right! It's the taste and it's the crunch that makes it a TIMS (MUSIC TAG: IT'S THE TASTE, IT'S THE CRUNCH, IT'S TIM'S CASCADE CHIPS!)

Poker Night

Neighbor: This the Crunch Brother's house?

Burt: It's our new neighbor. I'm Burt Crunch, and this is my brother, Harland.

Harland: Come on, let's play poker!

Neighbor: I brought the chips! Oh, did I screw up? You meant poker chips, not potato chips!

Harland: That's ok. But no one around here eats those plain old wimpy potato chips.

Burt: Yeah- around the northwest its Tim's Cascade Potato Chips with real potato flavor. Here, have a Tim's.

Neighbor: Wow! Great taste… and all that crunch!

Harland: That's what makes it a Tim's!

(Music)

Now listen to this 30 second commercial (679 KB)

Agreed

Harland: 'Lo.

Moderator: And Burt...

Burt: Howdyado.

Moderator: And today we're asking what it is that makes Tim's Cascade Potato Chips so outstanding. Fellas, what makes Tim's so special?

Harland: It's the crunch.

Burt: It's the taste!

(They argue) ...crunch, taste, crunch, taste!

Moderator: Now wait a minute. Isn't it true that over the years you guys never agreed about anything?

Harland: Yeah, come to think of it, it's true.

Burt: No, it isn't. I agreed you were stubborn.

Moderator: Hold on now. But we can agree that Tim's Cascade Potato Chips are the best chips in the world.

Harland: Yeah, that's right.

Burt: Yes it is, they're the best.

Moderator: Don't you see? When it comes to Tim's you can agree on something.

Harland: Gee, I'm sorry Burt, I guess it's been my fault all along.

Burt: No, I've been hard-headed, it's my fault.

Harland: My fault.

Burt: No, mine.

Moderator: Fellas...

Harland: What the heck do you know, you think it's the crunch.

Burt: That's what I said! You said it was the taste... (they argue) ...crunch, taste, crunch, taste!

It's The Crunch

Harland: (Crunching) Nice day on the lake, isn't it, Burt?

Burt: Yeah, Harland, and if the fish aren't bitin' at least we are. (He chuckles, crunching.)

Harland: ...and ya know, there's nothin like Tim's Potato Chips. There are chips, and there are chips, but these Tim's Cascade Potato Chips have the biggest, boldest...

(Simultaneously)

Harland: Crunch!

Burt: Taste!

(Simultaneously)

Harland: What?

Burt: What?

Harland: I said crunch. It's the crunch that makes Tim's!

Burt: ...and I said taste! It's the taste that makes Tim's!

Harland: My munching mandibules tell me it's the crunch.

Burt: And my taste buddies tell me it's the taste.

Harland: Give me that bag. (Snatches the bag.) Now listen when I take a bite. (Crunch!) That's no mealy-mouthed, mashed-in-a-can potato chip. It's the thunderous crunch of Tim's.

Burt: Yeah, but it's the real potato flavor and the robust spice of alderwood, cajun, jalepeno, and sour cream and onion that sets Tim's apart from those bland, bashful, other chips. It's the big, bold taste of Tim's, ya geek.

Harland: It's the crunch!

Burt: It's the taste!

(They begin to tussle, yelling "Crunch, taste, crunch, taste!" and fall overboard as we hear them struggle in the water.)

The Bungled Burglary

Burt: Say, Harland...

Harland: "Harland."

Burt: No, don't say Harland. 'Specially not so loud, you'll set off the alarm.

Harland: Okay, Burt, but why are we sneaking into the Tim's Cascade Potato Chip plant?

Burt: We're trying to find the secret of Tim's great tasting chips.

Harland: Looky here, what's that?

Burt: Why, they're giant kettles.

Harland: A giant lives here?

Burt: No, dummy, Tim must cook his chips in those... say, what the hay?

Harland: "What the hay."

Burt: No, don't say that... look, vats of high quality peanut oil that Tim must cook his chips in. Maybe that's why they're so crunchy and tasty.

Harland: And there! Golden chips, fresh from the kettles.

Burt: Yup. There's Cajun, Alder Smoked, Jalapeno, Sour Cream and Onion, Cheddar Cheese, Tim's Original...

Harland: Uh, uh.... I GOTTA HAVE ONE!

Burt: No, you'll set off the... Now you've done it, you geek!

Guard: Hey, who are you guys?

Burt: Well, Mr. Guard, that's Harland...

Harland: Howja do.

Burt: ...and I'm Burt. We're the Crunch Brothers.

Guard: Well, now you're the Clink Brothers, cause that's where you're goin'.

Harland: Why'd you ever bring me here?

Burt: Say -- you think it's my fault?

Harland: "You think it's my fault."

Burt: Right! I do think it's your fault, you gnarly nerd!

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